Soft Sugar Cookies and What Happened in Vegas Didn’t Stay in Vegas

I just went downstairs to get tea and found pink tulips, cards, candy and a dinner reservation and my cappuccino that he makes me every morning. I’m happy he is that kind of guy. We are not one of those couples who dismisses holidays and says “oh we just keep it low key.” We are never low key, not at Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.’

We have had thirteen Valentine’s Days together. The most significant  one was in 1999 a few months before our wedding. We were not yet engaged to be married and it was during Mr. ST’s visit to California where I, tiger heart that I am, gave him the elbow nudge.

He was in my jacuzzi and I asked him “How do you feel about me?”  I remember this as clearly as yesterday. He looked a little bit afraid to give me an answer, because he knew the response would have life changing consequences.

You see Mr. ST and I met nearly five years before at a business dinner, and I was absolutely certain we would be engaged within six months and married within a year. The story goes that it was his first day on the job and he was asked to attend this dinner. He thought that if he had to dine with people he didn’t know, he would look around the room and pick the prettiest girl to sit next to. He chose me. I’m still astounded that this was what he was thinking on his first day on the job, but the psychology of men has always intrigued me.

 Over those five days, we did a lot of talking and lot of eating. We were food compatible and that’s a great start to any romance. He had a favorite dish in a favorite restaurant in several cities in America. That got my attention, along with a sweet southern accent that said, “trust me.”

We were in Vegas for a trade show, but this was not going to be a “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” kind of thing.  We spent every night at dinner together and only a kiss happened, but I was expecting a lot more than a Vegas fling. That decision to find a pretty girl to sit next to was going to change his life forever. But, not so quickly.

The reality of long distance was too much to conquer and it wasn’t the right timing. So we barely remained friends until we were drawn together again four years later. He had tried to see me many times, and I had stood him up many times, because I just didn’t want a hit and miss romance, nor did I want a friend with benefits.  That’s not the kind of heart I have. I am either in or out, hot or cold. I don’t casually mesh for a few laughs and a good cry later. I’m pretty much as old fashioned as these sugar cookies.

One day in 1998, we met for dinner and I decided not to stand him up. He said he had made his mind up that this would be my last chance. And, just like that, the spark of the Vegas dinner was back. But not so quickly.

I didn’t hear from him  for weeks and I thought it was off again. I can get flaky in California. I didn’t need to transplant it from Tennessee and I was done.

I didn’t know that his father has died unexpectedly from a heart attack. His grief put us on hold. I saw him again in January and he was more serious minded and I was again interested.

We found ourselves together on Valentine’s Day. I am not a scaredy cat type. I am not one who avoids conflict. I don’t like pretense. I look people right in the eye. He was sitting in the hot tub, enjoying the moment. But I needed to know if we were just about moments or about a lifetime. I asked him, “how to do feel about me?”

He said, “well, I know I love you.” I pondered that for a second. I didn’t glow and  get starry eyed with those words. I figured by now he loves me, but I am the type that believes love is not enough. I asked him, “well, then what are you going to do about it?”

We were married three months later in California at sunset with all the romance that we could finally give in to as we abandoned all fear and started to live with thoughtful intention. I moved to Nashville, and the funny thing is, in spite of the rocky roads of our courtship, our marriage has been pretty much smooth sailing. We know we are right for each other and that’s that.

We laugh a lot about the tumultuous time between our Vegas meeting and our Nashville life together. We don’t fret over the time we were apart. n n We believe that true love ruled the day and transcended our stupid stuff and had its way in spite of us. He has never been flaky for one second, once he made up his mind that I was the right one. And, I have never stopped asking him questions.

The question I leave you with today is this.  Is there anything you need to ask that special someone in your life?